First ever blog then...

I am new to all this blogging business. Hell, I don't even know what blogging really means, but as far as I'm concerned this is the place where I'm going to share my (usually drunken) thoughts, rants, ideas, whatever may be on my mind...

So, first of all, I will introduce myself.

I am Danny Russell, I'm 18, and studying Business at university. Thats pretty much about it really.

I liked the idea of Portsmouth University because my understanding of it was a place where people who arn't hugely intelligent, or hugely spastic (sorry if thats not P.C for all your predantic fools) could go and learn a thing or two.

And learn a thing or two I most certainly did.

1. University girls are not the drunken, cock-gobbling, shot downing, pussy-strumming sluts I expected them to be. Picture Marge Simpson but 18. That is what the majority of girls are like at Uni.



However - I came up with a thesis for this.

I very cleverly worked out that the reason most of the girls at uni are NOT coke-snorting cock-a-holics is because... the coke-snorting cock-a-holics are in fact... well coke-snorting cock-a-holics. As a result of this (and these figures are my guesstimation) 30% of these girls dropped out around GCSE. A further 60% of these dropped out at college (most likely due to an OD of some kind)

The other... however many percent is left, drunk their equivilent weight in vodka and probably fell asleep in a ditch or something. So I've solved the fun girls at uni problem.



Now, the second thing I learnt about is cooking.

Cooking food that will not make you ill is actually quite easy.

Salmonella is over-rated basicaly.

It was but the other day I was half way through eating a chicken breast I cooked for the time specified on the pack, before looking down at the red blood dripping out of the breast, generously onto my now dis-coloured mashed potatoes and peas.

"Oh right so thats it ive killed myself then" I uttered to myself before trying to work out the best way to resolve the problem. Which in fact was also rather amusing. My antidote to the poison I had consumed was a slice of toast with jam on. Which is what my poor little university educated mind supposed was the best thing to do.

Amazingly - it worked. Which got me thinking, If i could eat a half a breast of literally red raw chicken and be ok. Then this salmonella malarky must be hugely over-rated. Either that or I'm invincible.



And if animals eat raw meat in the wilderness all the time... how comes we can't?

Anyway, thats my first blog. I doubt anyone will read it. If someone has then excellent, I look forward to adding more in the future.

Ta-ra for now x

Danny